


I Shouldn't Love You

by RileyRiot



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Red Hood - Fandom
Genre: Adopted Sibling Relationship, Almost Kiss, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Siblings, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys Kissing, Brothers, First Kiss, First Time, Guilt, Heartache, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Possibly Unrequited Love, Self-Hatred, Shower Sex, Sleeping Together, Sleepy Cuddles, Teen Angst, Versatile Dick Grayson, Versatile Jason Todd, Wrestling
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-11
Updated: 2015-05-06
Packaged: 2018-03-22 09:50:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3724417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RileyRiot/pseuds/RileyRiot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jason knows he shouldn't love Dick, but he does. He knows that if Dick or Bruce ever found out they kick him out, so he tries to hide it and ignore it, but it's tearing him apart inside.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

After school Jason came straight home and went up to his room. It was Friday, which meant he didn’t have any homework to distract him from his thoughts. So, he lay on his bed thinking about things he shouldn’t and hating himself for it. _What’s wrong with you?_ He asked himself after a disgusting image passed through his mind. He couldn’t even count how many times he asked himself that question over the last two years. His subconscious offered him the same response it always did; _you’re a sick freak._

Jason knew it was true. Only someone sick and disgusting would be thinking the things he did, but knowing that didn’t do anything to change the thoughts and that only made him hate himself more.

A knock at his bedroom door startled him and he jumped up in his bed and immediately began praying that it was anyone other than Dick on the other side. He walked to the door like a man headed to the gallows. Obviously, if God had heard his prayer he didn’t care because when he finally worked up the courage to open his bedroom door the person staring at him was none other than his adoptive brother, Dick Grayson. Jason’s heart was instantly torn between fluttering wildly in his chest like a drunken butterfly and sinking to his feet like the Titanic.

“Hey, Jay, why didn’t you wait for me after school? I would’ve given you a ride.”

“Sorry, man, I was just in a rush.”

That was a lie. Jason had deliberately avoided seeing Dick after school so he didn’t have to ride home with him.

“You say that everyday, even in the mornings too. I’m starting to think you don’t like riding with me,” Dick said as he leaned against the doorframe and eyed Jason suspiciously.

“Uhh…that’s not it. I just like catching the bus.”

Another lie. Jason hated lying to Dick but there was no way he could tell him the truth.

“If you say so.” Dick didn’t sound convinced.

Dick continued to scrutinize him for several more moments. As irrational as it was Jason started to wonder if Dick could read his mind and knew he was lying. If he stared at Jason longer would he be able to figure out the real reason Jason didn’t want to be alone with him in his car or anywhere else for that matter?

“So, Dickie, what’s up?” Jason asked nervously, after Dick staring at him became too uncomfortable for him to bear.

“Oh…yeah,” Dick said as if he’d been lost in his own head, “Bruce called and he’s going to be out of town all weekend, so it’s just you and me, little brother.”

Jason sighed. He hated when his adoptive father left town for extended periods. Not because he was a scared little kid who didn’t what to be home without his daddy, it was just when Bruce was home he acted as a great buffer between Jason and Dick. Since, he worked so much he tried to make sure the time he did have off they all did something together, which was great because Jason actually liked having that family time, but it also meant that he didn’t have to be alone with Dick.

“Jay?” Dick’s voice sounded a little worried.

“Uhh, yeah? Sorry, totally zoned out there. What were you saying?” Jason asked when he snapped back to their conversation.

“I was saying since it’s just us this weekend maybe we could do something together.”

“I don’t know, Dickie I have some stuff to work on,” Jason quickly tossed out an excuse.

“What stuff? Maybe I can help,” Dick countered.

“Just stuff and I don’t really need help, Dickie.”

Dick’s gaze fell a bit and Jason felt like shit.

“I just feel like we don’t hang out together anymore, you know just you and me. When I go off to college in the fall we’ll probably see each other even less…I guess I just miss you, that’s all, little brother.”

Shit probably felt better than Jason did in that moment. It wasn’t Dick’s fault that he was all fucked up in the head and it was wrong for Jason to treat him like it was. Dickie had been nothing but amazing to him since he was ten and Bruce had taken him in. That’s why Jason hated his thoughts so much.

“Uhh…you know what, you’re right, Dickie. Let’s do something together.”

Even though that was the last thing Jason wanted he couldn’t stand to see that look of hurt and disappointment on Dick’s face and would do anything to get rid of it, even if that meant he’d be torturing himself in the process.

“Really?” Dick asked hopefully.

“Yeah, why not. My…stuff isn’t going anywhere,” and neither were his feelings for Dick.

“Awesome, why don’t we go out to dinner and see a movie? It’ll be fun.”

That seemed too intimate for Jason, but he just nodded his head. He would’ve preferred to have some time to get himself together but he wasn’t sure if that was even possible in this kind of situation.

“Alright, it’s a date,” Dick reached out and ruffled his hair with a smile.

Even though Jason knew that Dick was only joking his heart still leapt at the idea.

“I’ll go shower and change and then I’ll meet you downstairs.”

Once again Jason just nodded in response. Dick sounded beyond excited but Jason knew that night would be a living nightmare for him. As he closed his door and headed back over to his bed he went back to thinking about how screwed up he was. After his mother OD’ed and his biological father didn’t show up to claim him, it had taken his social worker a long time to find Jason a place where he didn’t get beaten or treated like trash.

Bruce was the dad Jason had always wished for. He’d given Jay his own room, bought him toys, taken him and Dick on family vacations, that had never happened at any of his other foster homes or his “real” one for that matter. But, besides all the material stuff Bruce had always been kind and understanding of Jason and he always listened to Jay if he needed someone to talked to. Jason wished he could talk to Bruce about the stuff going on in his head now, but he knew it would disgust him…probably more than it disgusted Jason and he’d ended up sending Jason back into the foster care system. Even someone as understanding as Bruce wouldn’t be able to accept Jason if he knew how the boy really felt about his other adopted son.

Dick had been equally as good to Jason. He was only two years older than Jason, but he had always been super protective of him, jumping to his defense anytime someone teased him about being adopted or weird. Dick had even let Jason sleep in bed with him when he had a nightmare or there was a thunderstorm since he knew how deathly afraid Jason was of them. Bruce and Dick had taken him in and treated him like he’d belonged with them. Jason had found a place where he wasn’t just safe but actually happy, but how had he showed his appreciation for it? By falling in love with his brother of course.

When Bruce had first adopted him Jason had been hesitant to open up and feel comfortable, but Dick being adopted too had made it a bit easier for him. They had bonded almost immediately and became inseparable. Even after Dick had started high school and had make tons of popular friends he still made sure to include his little brother. Though that wasn’t really Jason’s scene he loved every moment of every school sporting event, party, etc because he got to be with Dick.

That was until he was fourteen, that’s when Jason changed, when everything changed. He’d had a nightmare that these black, shadow-like monsters had come and were trying to take him away from Bruce and Dick. He woke up screaming and terrified that something like that would actually happen, so he went to Dick’s room and told him about it. Jason was crying before he even finished the story. Dick pulled him into his arms and told him that everything would be okay because he would never let anyone take _his_ “Jay Bird” away and then kissed him on the forehead. It was innocent on Dick’s part, but that night how Jason saw his brother changed and he spent the rest of the night tucked in Dick’s arms imagining what it would’ve been like if he kissed him on the lips.

Jason groaned as the memory came back to him. Why was he so screwed up? He couldn’t just be gay, he had to be gay, AND in love with is adoptive brother. Most of the time Jason wasn’t even sure he was gay, because Dick had been the only guy he ever remotely felt attracted to but he figured sense he wasn’t into girls at all then he had to be gay. Luckily for him he’d been able to keep that secret under wraps too, but how long could he keep hiding these things from his brother and father? _Forever,_ he told himself he could never let either of them ever find out about who he really was.

Jason shook his head and headed over to his adjoining bathroom and splashed some water on his face. He decided he wouldn’t change his clothes. This wasn’t a real date –even though he’d never been on one of those, he saw no reason in making a fuss about clothes that Dick wouldn’t care about. After he put his shoes back on he reluctantly headed downstairs to wait for Dick in the foyer.

“I see you didn’t bother cleaning up,” Dick teased as he bounced down the stairs.

Jason was almost speechless when he got a good look at Dick; he was wearing a fitted, blue, v-neck t-shirt and jeans that were custom tailored to his body. Jason didn’t know much about dates, but that’s exactly where Dick looked like he was going. Jason however still had on the slacks and uniform shirt he’d worn to school. He quickly reminded himself it didn’t matter. It wasn’t a date anyway.

“I doubt anyone will care about me,” Jason said as he averted his eyes.

“I care about you…I’ve always cared about you,” Dick said as he reached out and titled Jason’s chin up so he could look at him.

Dick’s expression was so serious it almost snapped Jason in two. He felt so guilty for feeling the way he did about someone so great who had only ever been there for him.

“I could change if you–”

“You look fine, Jay Bird. I don’t care what you wear. I only care that I’m finally getting to spend time with you after I don’t even know how long.”

Dick slowly opened up his hand and slid it from Jason’s chin to his cheeked and cupped it. Jason knew he should move away, but having Dick touch him like that felt so nice he just couldn’t.

“I really have missed you, Jay.” Dick moved in and pressed his forehead to Jason’s.

“I…I haven’t gone anywhere, Dickie. I’m right here, where I’ve always been.” Jason closed his eyes to block out some of the sensations that were quickly starting to overwhelm him.

“Sometimes it doesn’t feel like it. Sometimes it feels like I’m losing you…like I lost you…I don’t want to lose you, Jay.” Dick’s voice actually cracked a little. “Promise me I won’t lose you, Jay. No matter what.”

Jason didn’t know what to say. Dick had never said anything like this to him before and it broke his heart. He didn’t know how, but he needed to make things right between them.

“I’m not going anywhere, Dickie. I promise.”

Dick took a deep breath then let it out with a heavy sigh. “Good, now let’s get out of here,” Dick said as he dropped his hand from Jason’s cheek and backed away.

Jason missed the contact immediately. The night had barely begun and Jason was already eager for it to be over.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason and Dick have an awkward conversation at dinner and Jason does something he can't take back when they get home.

Jason had been the epitome of awkward the entire car ride into the city. He’d barely said two words to Dick without him being prompted to, which sucked because they used to be so close that they could literally talk about anything and everything. Jay missed that more and more each day.

“So, you got a girlfriend?” Dick asked casually, after the waiter left to put in their orders.

Jason just shook his head in a response.

“A boyfriend?”

Jason nearly choked on his water when Dick asked him that.

“Ha, ha, are you okay, Jay?” Dick asked as he gently patted Jason’s back.

“Uhh…yeah…that…just…”

“Okay, I thought I might have to give you mouth to mouth,” Dick said with a grin.

Cue another round of choking for Jason. The last thing he needed that night was to be thinking about Dick’s mouth on his for any reason. In fact he was pretty sure he’d rather his brother let him choked to death, at least it would put him out of his misery.

“Relax, I’m only teasing you, Jay Bird.” Dick tossed Jason his signature golden boy smile.

Jason knew Dick was only messing with him and that was part of why he was so riled up. If Dick only knew how many times Jason had thought about his lips on his he wouldn’t be so quick to make jokes like that.

“W–why did you ask me that?” Jason asked defensively once he could breathe without any complications.

“Uhh…I don’t know, Jay. I just feel like I don’t know you anymore.” Dick sighed and looked down at his fingers on the table.

After several long moments of awkward silence Jason finally said, “Look, I’m not seeing anyone, Dickie, boy or girl.”

“Okay, that’s cool,” Dick said as he looked over at Jay, “I just thought I’d ask.”

“Well you asked and I gave you your answer. Now, can we talk about something else?” there was a plea in Jason’s voice.

“Whatever you want, Jay.”

In reality all Jason wanted to do was go home, but he told himself that he had to at least make it through dinner or he’d hurt Dickie’s feelings and the whole point of coming would’ve been pointless. So, the two of them spent the rest of dinner talking about nothing important, with Dick still being the one to initiate and Jason giving the bare minimum in response. Jason hated it but he didn’t know how else to deal with things; he couldn’t just pretend to be normal when he knew that everything he felt for Dick wasn’t normal.

When they got to the movie theater they both groaned because there wasn’t anything playing that either of them wanted to see.

“I probably should’ve checked to see what was playing before I came up with this bright idea,” Dick said as he massaged the back of his neck with one hand.

As Jason caught himself practically gawking at the lean muscle of Dick’s biceps he realized he wasn’t disappointed at all. In fact he saw that as the perfect opportunity to bail out early without upsetting Dickie.

“Why don’t we just go home? I’m kind of tired anyway. It’s been a long week,” he suggested.

Dick looked like he wanted to protest, but ultimately agreed. They drove back mostly in silence with the exception of the car’s radio, but Jason couldn’t have told you one song that came on even if you had offered him a million dollars. He was too busy trying to figure out why Dick kept glancing over at him at every red light or stop sign. He was terrified that somehow someway he’d let something slip and Dick knew about his feelings for him. So, when they got back to the house he immediately made a beeline for his room.

“Jay, wait.” Dick’s voice stopped Jason just as his foot hit the first step.

“Yeah,” Jason huffed exasperatedly. How much more would he have to endure before he could go lock himself in his room until Bruce came home?

“Uhh…there’s supposed to be a storm later, so why don’t you sleep with me tonight? You…Uhh…you know like old times. It can be a sleep over.”

For the first time that night Dick was the one that seemed awkward and uncomfortable. Hell, that was probably the first time in their lives Jay had seen Dick fumble with his words. He would never admit it out loud but he thought it was kind of adorable, but adorable or not the Dick’s idea was a bad one.

“Dickie, I’m not a little kid anymore. I can sleep in my own room.”

Though storms stilled bothered Jason he didn’t crawl into bed with Dick anymore. He couldn’t. He just put his headphones in and toughed them out until they passed.

“I know you’re not a little kid anymore, Jay…I just thought it would be…fun since we didn’t get to see a movie. We could get Al to bring us up some snacks and watch something here,” Dick’s blue eyes once again pleaded with Jason.

Ugh, that was another reason he hated being alone with Dick, it was so much harder to say no to him when it was just the two of them.

“Fine, I’ll watch a movie…but I’m sleeping in my own room,” Jason offered as a compromise.

“Fine,” Dick sounded a little sullen. “I’ll let Al know about the snacks and then meet you up at my room.” Dick turned and headed towards the kitchen.

Jason headed upstairs, not to Dick’s room, but to his own. He stripped out of his school clothes and went over to the bathroom for a quick shower. Once he was done he headed back out to his room and pulled on a pair of pajama bottoms and a t-shirt. As he slowly walked down the hall to Dick’s room he told himself that he would watch half of whatever movie Dick picked out then he would yawn and say he needed to go to bed. He knocked hesitantly. The door flew open a few moments afterwards.

“There you are, Jay. I thought you had bailed on me,” Dick said with a small frown.

“Nah, I just wanted to shower first.”

“Cool. Al hooked us up with everything from chips, to candy, to soda and popcorn,” Dick explained, as he walked over to the spread that was laid out on a small cart beside his bed.

“Awesome,” Jason said even though his stomach was in too many knots to be excited about food.

Jason’s stomach only got more out of control when Dick reached down and tugged the hem of his shirt up his torso and over his head.

“Wha–Wha–what are you doing?” Jason asked nervously.

“You’re not the only one that wants to change his clothes, Jay Bird,” Dick said with a chuckle before reaching down and undoing the button on his jeans.

Jason stood awkwardly in the doorway, looking everywhere but at Dick as he heard the sound of fabric being shuffled around. The universe hated him and it became clearer with each passing second.

“Going to come in?” Dick asked as he disappeared into his massive walk-in closet.

Jason wanted to say no. He wanted to go back to his room and do something he knew he shouldn’t while thinking about someone he knew he shouldn’t and that terrifying thought is probably what forced him inside Dick’s room. He knew there was no way he’d do something like what he was thinking in Dick’s presence, so figured staying for awhile might help him resist other temptations.

A few minutes later Dick reemerged from his closet wearing nothing but a pair of lounge pants that hung way too low on his hips in Jason’s opinion.

“Anything in particular you want to watch?” Dick asked as he walked over to his entertainment system.

“No. You can pick,” Jason said as he went over and grabbed the computer chair from Dick’s desk and turned it to face the TV.

“Great, I know exactly what we should watch,” Dick said enthusiastically from the other side of the room.

Jason mumbled his acknowledgement even though he didn’t really care what Dick chose because his plan remained the same.

“What are you doing over there?” Dick pointed to where Jason was sitting.

“I’m sitting.”

“No, but you always snuggle with me when we watch movies.” Dick actually pouted.

Was he serious?

“Dickie, I use to do that but we’re too old for that now.”

“No we’re not, now come on get over here,” Dick said as he made his way over to his king size bed and made an elaborate show of using one of the bedpost to climb into it.

Jason rolled his eyes at the spectacle; the gymnast had always been a show-off.

“No, Dickie. I’m fine sitting here,” Jason argued.

“But…I want you with me.” Dick rolled over onto his side and pinned Jason with a stare he had never seen before. “Please?”

Jason knew getting in bed with Dick was probably the worst thing he could do in that situation, but Dick’s words made it impossible for him to say know. He let out a soft moaned that resembled that of a wounded animal as he got up from his chair. He dragged his feet as he walked the short distance to Dick’s bed and just stood by the edge looking at it like if he touched it he’d be burned alive.

“Well, come on then,” Dick said as he leaned up and tugged on Jason’s shirt so hard that he lost his balance and fell on top of him.

Jason immediately went stiff and his heart started pounding in his chest as his body became aware of Dick’s presence beneath him. Yeah, this was definitely a bad idea. Jason went to get back up, but was stopped when Dick wrapped his legs around Jason’s waist then leaned in and lightly pecked him on the cheek.

“Thanks, Jay.”

After that Dick rolled them over so Jason was on his back and Dick was straddling him. His brother only stayed like that for a few seconds before he crawled up to the top the bed. Jason closed his eyes and told himself that it didn’t mean anything and that that’s just how Dick was. He repeated that to himself several times before he got his heart rate to slow down and was able to open his eyes again.

“Jay, I’d really liked to start the movie so could you get up here.” Dick patted the spot next to him at the top of the bed.

Jason jumped a little out of surprise but eventually sat up. He eyed his vacant chair longingly, but ultimately decided he would endure a little more torture and crawled up to the top of the bed to sit next to Dick.

“Took you long enough.” Dick playfully bumped Jason with his shoulder and smiled. “Now, let’s do this.”

Dick picked up his remote and clicked a few buttons to start the movie before putting it back on the nightstand and grabbing the bowl of popcorn form their snack cart. It took Jason a few moments to figure out what movie Dick had chosen. _Brother Bear_ , it was Jason’s favorite movie as a kid. He’d made Dick watch it at least a thousand times when they were younger, but he hadn’t watched it in years.

“Remember this?” Dick smiled at him before leaning over and dropping his head onto Jason’s shoulder.

“Yeah.” Jason nodded and offered a small smile back.

“Still your favorite, right?”

“Yeah,” Jason admitted.

“Good, mine too.”

As the movie played Jason leaned back against the headboard and watched, feeling envious of the animated bears on the screen. Even though one was a human that had been turned into a bear they still seemed to have a lot simpler relationship than Jason and Dick.

“Do you remember when we were little and we’d pretended to be birds?” Dick asked out of nowhere.

Jason vaguely remembered their silly childhood games of “flying” around the backyard, so he nodded.

“Do you remember when we use to feed each other gummy worms?” Dick asked as he held up a pack or multi-colored, sugary worms.

Jason remembered and immediately didn’t like where Dick’s line of questioning was going.

“We should totally do that.” Dick laughed to himself.

“No, we shouldn’t.”

“Why not? You use to love it.”

“I used to love a lot of things, Dick. Can’t we just watch the movie?” Jason asked hoping to redirect his brother’s attention.

Dick sighed heavily and then turned back to the movie. He ate his candy in silence for a while before he turned back to Jason.

“What?” Jason asked when Dick didn’t stop staring at him for a few minutes.

“Just one time, Jay Bird?” Dick begged.

Jason had forgotten how much younger Dick seemed when he wanted things. It was cute and frustrating as hell. Why hadn’t he just left at the movie’s halfway mark like he’d planned on doing? It was probably because besides being a masochist he’d actually been enjoying their time together. It had been so long since they’d done anything like this and it had hit Jason hard.

“Please, Jay?” Dick asked again.

“Ugh, one time, Dick.” Jason sighed in defeat.

“Awesome, now lay down, Baby Bird” Dick instructed, changing Jason’s nickname for the stupid game.

Jason reluctantly did as he was told and Dick got up on his knees beside him. Then to Jason’s surprise Dick straddled him. Their lower halves were lined up in a way that they should never have been. Jason forced himself not to get weird. It would be over in a few seconds, he told himself. Dick just stared at him for a while and it made Jason’s body start to react.

“Come on, Dickie,” Jason whined impatiently.

“Okay, open up, little Jay Bird,” Dick said before he placed one of the gummy worms between his teeth and leaned down to let it dangle between their mouths.

Jason knew it would be over quickly if he just yanked the worm into his mouth by his teeth, but for some reason he slowly nibbled on it. As Dick’s face got closer to his he began to panic. Dick wasn’t pulling away and Jason wasn’t sure he had the willpower to do it himself. Why was he so stupid? He knew this was a bad– before he could finished the thought Dick’s lips touched his. Jason’s eyes slipped closed automatically like they would if it were a real kiss.

The sound of thunder outside caused them both to jump and parts of them that Jason never expected to touch rubbed against each other through their clothes. Jason moaned before he could stop himself and he could’ve almost sworn he’d heard Dick do the same. Jason quickly shoved Dick off of him like it was the older boy’s fault.

“I have to go.”

Jason scrambled to get out of the bed, but Dick stopped him with a hand around his wrist.

“No, Jay, stay. I’m sorry I was being stupid. I promise I’ll be good…just finished the movie.” Dick looked terrified as he held on to Jason.

Why couldn’t Jason say no? That answer was more obvious than the others. It was because he was a perv who secretly hoped that he had heard Dick moaned and that if he stayed Dick might really try to kiss him. Disgusting. There was something seriously wrong with him, but even knowing that he didn’t leave. Instead he reassumed his position at the top of the bed beside Dick, who sighed with relief. Even though Jason sat further away from Dick that time his brother still found his way over to Jason’s space. Dick laid his head back on Jason shoulder while they watched the rest of the movie.

There was no way Jason could focus on the TV anymore not after what had just happened. The stormed picked up outside and Jason jumped several times, but settled down after Dick began to stroke his forearm. It was soothing and Jason leaned back against the headboard and let his eyes close for brief moment.

***

That brief moment lasted longer than Jason anticipated because when he opened his eyes again several things had changed. The room was now almost completely dark, with the exception of some of the property lights coming through a window. He was also no longer sitting up, but lying on his side under a light blanket with Dick spooned up behind him. He tried to get up but Dick’s arm around his waist only tightened. He didn’t want to wake Dick up, but he also knew he couldn’t stay.

Once again thunder roared outside and Jason jumped in surprised. Dick didn’t stir but the motion caused Jason’s ass to rub up against the front of Dick’s lounge pants. That’s when he became aware of Dick’s cock pressing against the thin layer of the back of his own pants. Jason bit his lip to hold back a moan. Dick’s spooning habit had been one of the top reasons Jason had stopped crawling into bed with his brother. Once Jason realized his feelings for Dick it was impossible for him to sleep beside the other boy without his stupid teenage hormones causing him to get turned on.

That night was no different. Now that he was aware of Dick’s cock against him his couldn’t help but to perk up on response. Once again he tried to get out of bed, but Dick’s hold on him was ridiculously tight. When he had been younger that had always made Jason feel extra safe, but now he felt imprisoned. He also tried just ignoring his growing erection, but that became impossible when Dick started to move around behind him. Eventually, Jason was so hard it hurt. He needed to jerk off or get to a cold shower ASAP. The latter didn’t seem possible without waking up Dick and probably causing a scene, but the former was almost too disgusting to think about.

However, when Dick began to softly hump against him in his sleep all Jason could think about was jerking off. Even though he knew Dick was probably dreaming about some girl from school, Jason couldn’t help but press himself back more firmly against his brother. He hated himself as he reached into the front of his pants and gripped his leaky cock in a tight fist. He hoped that maybe the pain would make his erection go away, but it didn’t. So much precum had leaked from the head of his cock in that short amount of time that when he moved his hand up the shaft there was almost no resistance. Jason whimpered from the sensation.

As Jason slowly began to pump his cock inside of his pants he told himself it wouldn’t be so bad if he thought about anyone other than Dick, but of course that only made him think about Dick more. He fought the thoughts for as long as he could but eventually gave himself over to his sick perverse thoughts. He imagined that it wasn’t his hand around his cock, but that it was Dick’s and neither one of them had on clothes. He even began to fantasize about Dick slowly slipping his cock between his ass cheeks and pressing it into his virgin hole. Jason was breathing heavier now and he absentmindedly began to grind his ass against his sleeping brother’s cock.

After awhile he felt Dick’s cock grow hard behind him. That was almost too much for Jason. He shoved down the front of his pants and freed his cock underneath the blanket then began to fist it even harder. As Jason’s bare forearm rubbed against Dick’s his desire for more skin on skin contact became desperate. He wanted Dick to touch him so bad, so he let go of his cock for a moment then reached up and gently took Dick’s hand and lightly slid it around the base of his cock. While Jason went back to stroking the upper half of his cock he humped into Dick’s loose hold, moaning every time even when the smallest amount of his cock brushed against his brother’s hand.

He was close to coming in moments. Part of him wanted to make it last longer and another part of him knew he needed to get it over with before Dick woke up. So, he started to rub the dripping opening to his cock head with his thumb because he knew that would send him over the edge, and it did. A second later Jason was squirting cum all over his hand and the blanket. He bit down on a pillow to keep quiet as he waited for his cock to exhaust itself.

Finally his orgasm subsided and reality hit him and Jason began to sob. What had he done? How could he have done that to Dick? He quickly removed his brother’s hand from his sticky cock and put it away, but the tears didn’t stop. He cried so hard that his chest began to hurt.

“Jay, are you okay?” Dick stirred behind him.

Jason immediately held his breath. No, he wasn’t okay. Jason was a disgusting pervert who had used Dick to help him get off to one of his nasty fantasies.

“It’s okay, Jay, the storm will be over soon.” Dick snuggled even closer to him and rubbed his palm over Jason’s belly like he used to do when they were kids.

Jason had actually forgotten about the mild chaos going on in the sky outside. As Jason continued to cry he thought about how wrong Dick was. The storm was nowhere near over, at least not for him.

 

 

  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I struggled with this chapter a bit, but finally finished it and hope you like it. Also if you read my other story, When It Rains you probably notice that I like to make Jason scared of thunderstorms...I don't know why it just seems right.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason needs to get away, but that only gets him in trouble. When he comes back Dick confronts him,

Even once Jason ran out of tears he couldn’t fall asleep, so he just laid in the darkness of Dick’s room with his brother wrapped around him like a vine, while his own darkness ate away at him. He still couldn’t believe what he’d had done. What if Dick would’ve woken up sooner? There was no way he wouldn’t have freaked out if he had woken up and found his hand around Jason’s cock. How would Jason have explained that, especially since he also had his hand around his cock and was fisting it like a madman?

Jason was so fucking stupid. He’d risked losing the only two people that ever really cared about him, just so he could rub one out. Maybe, that’s what he deserved though. Maybe he should tell Dick and Bruce so they could throw him out. Living on the streets alone might put an end to his sick thoughts.

The more Jason thought about the situation the angrier with himself he became. He needed to get out of Dick’s room, out of the house, maybe even out of Gotham. Jason took the opportunity to leave when the sun came up and Dick shifted around to block out the light shining through the window. He thought he heard Dick call after him, but he didn’t stop to confirm it. Instead he went to his room and changed into some sweats and a t-shirt then put on socks and his sneakers. He grabbed his backpack and his house keys then sprinted downstairs and into the garage. He grabbed the keys to one of Bruce’s Ducati’s and hopped on. A few moments later he was heading as far away from the house and Dick as he could get.

Jason drove around all morning with no specific destination in mind. He just hoped that the farther away he was from Dick the better off he’d be. Around noon Jason’s stomach alerted him to the fact that he hadn’t eaten anything since the gummy worm incident in Dick’s room. He groaned at the memory as he pulled over to some random fast-food restaurant. He obliterated his fries and drink in just a few minutes before heading back out to the bike. Some boys were gathering around it and eyed him a little weirdly when he approached it. He recognized a few of them from his school.

“Hey, Charity Case Todd. Did your rich daddy get you this?” One of boys called out as he kicked one of the bike’s tires.

Jason just ignored him as he tried to make his way to the bike. The other boys blocked his way and called out other taunts at him. Jason was use to this, so he just ignored them as well. His only response was rolling his eyes in frustration, at least until someone said something about Dick.

“What did you say?” He practically growled at them.

“I said ‘does your boyfriend, Dick have a matching one?” A brown haired boy spoke up with a chuckle.

“Dick’s my brother, not my boyfriend,” Jason retorted.

“Not from what I can tell. You two a practically joined at the hip everywhere you go and we all see how you look at him. Sick, bro.”

Were Jason’s feelings that obvious? He didn’t want to think about that.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, asshole. So just get out of my way.” Jason tried to shove his way through the group, but it didn’t work.

“And if we don’t?” The brown haired boy seemed to be speaking for the group.

“Then, I’ll rip everyone of your fucking heads off,” Jason snapped angrily.

The other boys just laughed at him, which only made Jason angrier. He knew if it came down to it he could take a few of them but not all of them. Jason had been beaten in most of his foster homes –by both his foster parents and siblings, and Bruce had known that so to help Jason feel safer he’d let him sign up for martial arts classes when he was younger.

“Look, the dick lover wants to fight us over his boyfriend, if that isn’t gay then I don’t know what is,” Brown hair kept going on.

Jason lunged at the kid, taking them both down to the ground. He slammed his fist into the kid’s face a few times before the other pulled him off and began hitting and kicking him. Jason immediately curled into a ball like he used to do when things like this happened in his foster homes.

Jason eventually heard an older male voice call out, “Break it up, right now I’ve already called the cops.”

“GCPD ain’t shit,” One of the boys yelled but they all ran off anyway.

Jason stayed in his ball even as he felt someone’s presence beside of him.

“Hey, kid you okay?”

“Yeah,” Jason grumbled and rolled over onto his back, once he realized he wasn’t in any danger.

“Oh, shit. You’re one of Bruce Wayne’s boys,” The older man exclaimed above him.

Jason’s eyes popped open. He didn’t recognize the man, but the man recognized him, so Jason had to get out of there. He quickly began struggling to get up and to the bike.

“Hey, kid, you don’t look so good. I’m a doctor; you should let me check you out,” the man said as he stood up and tried to help Jason get stable on his feet.

“No thanks. I’ll be fine,” Jason said before spitting some blood onto the ground.

The man tried to argue, but Jason waved him off and hobbled over to the bike and got on. He started it up and got out of there as fast as he could, despite the man still yelling at him to come back. Jason drove around in pain awhile longer before resigning to go home. He was in twice as bad of a mood when he returned than he had been when he’d left. Instead of going up to his room he went to the gym and decided to beat the shit out of one of the punching bags. For a while he imagined it was the kid from the parking lot at the fast-food joint, but eventually he started to imagine it was his own face that he was smashing in. Everything that happened that day was because of him and his stupid feelings for Dick.

“Oh my God, you’re home. I’ve been trying to find you all day,” Dick exclaimed as he ran into the gym.

Jason forced himself to ignore his brother and just kept punching the bag.

“Jay, what happened? Al said you took one of Dad’s bikes and then a doctor from Gotham Memorial called and said you were attacked,” Dick sounded frantic. “Oh, God, your lips split and under your eye is already starting to turn colors.”

Dick reached out and tried to get Jason to face him, but Jason yanked his face away.

“Stop being so fucking stubborn, Jay. Let me look at you.” Dick tried to turn Jason’s face around again and again Jason pulled away.

“I’m fine,” Jason spat then turned away and started heading towards the door Dick had just walked through.

He didn’t want to be around his brother right now. Especially since Dick would want to know what the fight was about and he couldn’t tell him. However, Dick’s hand on his wrist stopped his exit.

“Jay, what’s going on with you?” Dick pleaded behind him.

Jason closed his eyes tightly before snatching his arm away from his brother. “Nothing, now leave me alone.”

Jason went to take another step, but once again Dick stopped him. However, this time Dick didn’t use a gentle hand around his wrist, instead he threw his foot out and swiped it under Jason, causing him to fall flat on the mat covered floor. Jason huffed as the wind flew out of his lungs. Before he could question Dick, his brother flipped him over and straddled him. Despite everything that had happened that day, Jason’s body still responded to Dick being on top of him like that.

“Dick, get off of me,” Jason demanded.

“Not until you tell me what’s going on.” Dick quickly pinned Jason’s wrists above his head.

After holding in his feelings for so long something in Jason just snapped.

“You really want to know what’s going on, Dickie? I'm getting turned on from having you sitting on my lap.”

Jason flexed his hips so Dick could feel the bulge growing in his sweats. Dick abruptly let go of Jason’s wrists and looked down at him in surprise. It wasn’t the horrified look Jason had expected, but still once Jason realized what he had said he leaned up and began to shove at Dick. He needed to get out of there.

“Now will you get off of me?” Jason asked for the first time in his life angry with his brother.

Dick didn't move, just stared down at Jay with an unreadable expression on his face. Jason didn’t get it. Why wasn’t Dick freaking out and doing everything he could to get away from him?

"It's okay, Jay...you know getting turned on I mean. If that’s what’s been bothering you lately," Dick said after awhile.

“It’s not okay, Dick.”

“It is, Jay. It happens to me all the time. It’s nat–.”

“I don’t need a Sex Ed talk. You getting all riled up over those girls that follow you around like lost puppies isn't the same thing, Dickie,” Jason retorted.

“Jay you’re right. With the girls it’s not the same, but sometimes it doesn’t happen because of the girls.” Dick began to fiddle with his fingers.

“Really, Dickie then what else does it for you,” Jason shot back without even thinking.

Dick took his time before he said anything. “Well, Jay, sometimes it happens because of you too.” Dick looked away as he explained

“What?” Jason couldn't believe what he'd just heard.

“Look, Jay...sometimes I get turned on by you too.”

“Dickie, stop bullshitting.” Jason shoved at Dick again. 

“I'm not. I mean it doesn't happen all the time, but it does happen...like last night when you were sleep. You kept squirming around against me and I got hard.”

“Dickie, don't say things like that,” Jason pleaded as the memory of what had him squirming around so much came back to him.

“I'm sorry if it's weird or makes you uncomfortable. I just wanted you to know it's no big deal and it happens to me too.”

Dick made a move to get up, but for some reason Jason reached out and gripped on to his hips to keep him where he was.

“Jay?” Dick looked at him quizzically

“Are you telling the truth, Dickie?” Jason just couldn't believe that Dick ever felt like that because of him.

“Of course, Jay. I would never lie to you.”

“So, what do you do when it happens?”

Maybe, Dick could teach him how to make these feelings go away. Dick's cheeks started to tint pink and he looked away from Jason. That was unusual; blushing during awkward situations was typically Jason’s thing.

“Please, Dickie. Tell me?” Jason begged because he really wanted to know how to get over these feelings. 

“I...uhh...I usually touch myself.” Dick’s cheeks turned redder.

Jason had never expected that and hearing Dick's confession caused his mind to flood with images of the older boy touching himself. Those thoughts made Jason buck his hips underneath his brother, causing his erection to brush up against Dick's ass again. Instead of being disgusted and running away Dick actually ground down against Jason's cock and moaned. 

“See, Jay it happens to me too,” Dick practically whined above him, as he looked down at the front of his gym shorts.

Jason couldn’t help but to do the same. Jason gasped in shock as he noticed there was a slight bulge in front if Dick's shorts. Before his brain could fully adjust to that visual Dick reached down and began to squeeze and tug at his cock through his shorts. He alternated between biting his lip and moaning as he gently began to rock his hips back and forth above Jason and his now throbbing cock.

“Jay?” Dick’s eyes slipped closed as he softly moaned his name.

Why was that so goddamn sexy? Jason wondered.

“Dickie...uhh...Dickie, you need to stop” Jason said once his senses came back to him. This was wrong. Dick was only doing this to make Jason feel more comfortable about his perversion, but it was only making his desire stronger. Jason needed to put an end to this before he did something stupid.

“Why?” Dick opened his eyes and looked back down at Jason. 

“Because it's wrong, Dickie. I'm only getting more turned on,” Jason admitted.

“That's okay, Jay Bird. I am too.” Dick roughly gripped the even larger bulge in the front of his shorts to prove his point.

Jason knew that neither one of them should be hard at all, but the thought didn’t change the reality. The reality was Jason’s grip on Dick’s hips only tighten as the older boy rubbed his ass against his cock more urgently.

“Jay, I need to take it out,” Dick begged.

At first Jason didn’t know what Dick was talking about, but then he noticed his brother slowly sliding his hand into the front of his shorts. Dick’s hand moved around under his clothes and Jason didn’t have to be a genius to tell that his brother had started jerking off. Dick moaned and arched his back while continuing to grind on Jason’s lap.

“Jay, let me take it out,” Dick asked desperately.

Jason didn’t understand why Dick was asking him for permission, but he was unable to stop himself from furiously nodding his approval. A moment later Dick used his other hand to shove his shorts down under his cock and balls. It was the first time Jason had ever seen Dick’s cock and it was better than he could have ever imagined, it curved up a little in the middle and the head was pinkish and dripping with precum. Jason’s mouth instantly began to water.

“Take yours out too, Jay,” Dick said with a whimper as he stroked one of his hands up and down his rigid shaft and used the other to massage his balls.

This could not be happening, Jason thought. Perhaps he’d been beaten worse than he thought in that parking lot or maybe he’d crashed Bruce’s bike and was lying in the woods in a coma living out one of his fantasies.

“Come on, Jay Bird, let me see it.”

Dick slid further down on Jason’s legs to about mid thigh, making Jason groan from the motion and giving him better access to the raging hard-on in his sweats.

“Please,” Dick begged again.

Before he could stop himself Jason reached into his sweats and underwear and pulled out his own cock. Jason couldn’t help but to compare his to Dick’s. His cock was far from small, but it wasn’t as long as Dick’s, though it was thicker. His coloring was slightly different; a darker red instead of the adorable pink Dick’s had. However, just like Dick half of it was already shining with precum.

“Stroke it, Jay. It’ll feel good,” Dick instructed softly.

Jason did as he was told. He started by just gripping the base tightly in his hand and squeezing it, but eventually began slowly sliding his fist up his length.

“Oh, fuck,” he hissed from how good it felt.

“God, Jay, that’s so fucking hot.”

Yeah, no way had Dick just said that. Jason was definitely dying in the woods somewhere. Oh well, at least he’d get to have one last dream about Dick before he was gone. Jason kept his eyes on Dick’s cock as he worked his own, feeling utterly enraptured by it. He wanted to taste it, to feel it pulse in his mouth, and shoot wave after wave of cum down his throat, but even in his fantasy Jason wasn’t brave enough to ask for something like that, so he stuck with just thinking about it as he pumped his cock closer and closer to orgasm.

“Jay, I’m gonna come soon,” Dick called out after awhile.

Jason just nodded.

“Let me touch yours first.” Dick bit his bottom lip nervously after he asked his question.

Jason was so stunned he almost came right then and there.

“It’s okay if you don’t want me to,” Dick quickly amended when Jason didn’t say anything.

“No, you can– if you– want…I mean, yeah,” Jason stammered over his words and his thoughts.

Dick smiled down at him with his perfect golden boy smile before taking the hand he had been using to massage his balls and wrapping it around the upper half of Jason’s shaft.

“God, yes,” Jason hissed from the contact.

Dick smirked and began to stroke Jay’s cock to the same rhythm that he’d been stroking his own. It felt a thousand times more incredible than when Jason had put Dick’s sleeping hand around his cock the night before. Jason let his eyes slip close and his hand fall away from his cock, letting Dick have control over his full length. Jason wasn’t sure how it was possible but Dick was a master with his cock; he applied the right amount of pressure and just where he liked it.

“Touch me, Jay” Dick whispered out of nowhere.

Jason didn’t hesitate that time. He quickly reached out and replaced Dick’s hand with his own around the older boy’s cock. He tried different techniques until he found one that made Dick cry out and jerk his own cock off even harder. Jay swiped his thumb over the opening at the tip of Dick’s cock once and that was all it took for his brother to start coming. Seeing Dick’s cock explode like that triggered Jason’s own orgasm. They both sprayed cum all over their clothes, their hands, and the mat beneath them. When they were done Jason wasn’t sure what part of the sticky mess was his and what part was Dick’s but it didn’t matter.

Jason collapsed back onto the mat and waited for Dick to get off of him, but when Dick’s weight finally did shift it was to lean down to bring his face closer to Jason’s.

“See, I told you it was okay, Jay Bird.”

The next thing Jason knew Dick’s lips were on his. It wasn’t like with the gummy worm game, Dick pressed his lips to Jason’s desperately. Jason winced a little because of the cut on his lip. Dick quickly apologized before switching to gently licking and sucking at Jason’s lips until he moaned and allowed his tongue inside of him. Jason’s cock leapt between them when Dick’s tongue touched his. They both moaned and began to grind against each other again.

“I love you, Jay Bird,” Dick whispered when they broke apart to catch their breaths.

That’s when Jason realized this wasn’t a fantasy and what he’d done had actually happened. He shoved Dick off him, jumped up off the floor, and ran to his room. Once inside he locked the door and went to hide in his bathroom. He’d fucked up royally this time.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this came to me last night/3 o'clock this morning, but I hope it doesn't read that way. Really loving the response to this story and would love to hear more from you guys.


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of what happened in the gym isn't what Jay expects

Jason sat on his bathroom floor with his knees to his chest and his arms wrapped around them so tight it almost hurt. How could he have fucked up badly? Why hadn’t Dick stopped him? Told him no? No, he couldn’t blame Dick; this was all on him. Dick had just been trying to help his stupid baby brother like always and Jason had been weak and had taken advantage of him. Jason was the one that let things get out of control. He knew his feelings for Dick would ruin his life; he just never planned to bring his brother down with him. How could he do something so horrible?

A knock on his bedroom door startled him. He prayed that if he just ignored it that it would go away, but it didn’t. He could hear the muffled sound of Dick’s voice coming through both doors, but couldn’t make out anything clearly. God, what did Dick think of him now? Jason didn’t want to know. He couldn’t think about Dick right now, it was too painful. But it was impossible to think about anything else with his brother banging on his door. Plus to make it worse he could still smell Dick on him and feel the mixture of both their cum on his clothes.

“Jay,” Dick called out repeatedly.

Jason needed him to go away. What if Alfred came to check on them? What would Dick tell him? Would they call Bruce? Fear like Jason hadn’t experienced in years coursed through his body. He quickly got up from the bathroom floor and raced back out to his bedroom. He didn’t open the door though; he still couldn’t look at Dick.

“Dickie, you gotta go away.”

He heard Dick release a heavy sigh on the other side of the door.

“I can’t, Jay. Are you alright? Just let me in. We can talk about this.”

Jason was definitely not alright.

“No, Dickie. I don’t want to talk. Please just leave me alone,” Jason begged in a small broken voice.

“Jay, I’m not leaving until you open up and we talk,” Dick sounded desperate.

Jason just stared at the door. He couldn’t open it. He couldn’t bear to have Dick look him in the eyes and tell him how sick he thought what they did had been or how disgusting he thought Jay was. It would kill him because even though he knew it had been wrong it was still one of the best moments in Jay’s life.

“Please, Jay Bird, talk to me,” Dick pleaded with him through the door.

“I can’t.” Jason just continued to stare at the door.

A few moments later he heard two thumping sounds outside of his room, one causing his door to slightly shake. After that it was quiet for a while. Maybe Dick had left. Jason sat down on the floor and leaned his back up against his bed. Why had he done this? He asked himself over and over again. His heart ached so much that he wished he could just rip it out of his chest. Even if he died it would be better than living like this.

“Jay,” Dick spoke almost too low to hear, “I’m…I’m so sorry, Jay. I didn’t mean to…” Dick’s words were cut off by what sounded like a sob.

Was Dick crying? Why? Why was he apologizing? This was Jason’s fault not his. Jason didn’t want to see his brother but he could never handle hearing him cry. Dick almost never cried and the fact that he was now and it was because of Jason only made him feel worse. Jason felt to defeated to stand so he crawled over to his door and slowly unlocked it and turned the knob. He opened the door just a little and instinctively looked up, but found that Dick was actually sitting on the floor leaning against the door. His brother immediately turned to look at him with wet, red eyes.

“God, Jay I’m so sorry. I just thought…I don’t know what I thought. I never meant to make you hate me.” Dick’s voice hitched a little.

“No, Dickie. I don’t hate you.” Jason wanted to reach out and take his brother’s hand, but was too scared.

Hate him? How could Jason ever hate Dick? Jason’s love for Dick was the reason for this whole mess.

“Then why did you run away? Why’d you shut me out, Jay?” Dick sobbed again.

“Because…” Jason couldn’t tell Dick the truth because he knew it would freak him out, but he couldn’t completely lie to his brother either. “I…I just thought you wouldn’t want to be around me after that.”

“Why would you think that, Jay? I always want to be with you. I meant what I said last night, I’ve missed you so much lately.” Dick looked nervous as he reached out and lightly cupped Jason’s cheek.

Jason jumped at the contact. Dick’s skin felt like fire on his, but he couldn’t pull away. No, he would willingly be burned alive if it meant getting to feel Dick’s hands on him. God, this was so wrong. Had he not learned his lesson? He couldn’t let himself think like that, feel like that. Not about Dick, maybe not about anyone.

“Dickie, I understand that you were just trying to help me feel better, but I know what we did was wrong.” Jason slowly moved his face away from Dick’s touch.

Dick dropped his hand and gaze to the floor. “Jay, can I tell you something?”

Jason wasn’t sure what he wanted to hear what his brother had to say, but Dick sounded so uncharacteristically small and sad.

“Yeah, Dickie.” Jason closed his eyes and threw his head back against the wall by the door. He was sure it would’ve hurt if it weren’t for all his pain receptors being so focused on his heart.

“It didn’t feel wrong, Jay…not to me.”

Jason eyes flew back open and he turned to Dick. He couldn’t believe is ears.

“What?” His voice shook as he spoke.

“Jay…doing…what…we…being with you like that…it didn’t feel wrong. It felt…nice.” Dick didn’t look at him.

“It didn’t gross you out? I didn’t gross you out?” Jason asked shocked by Dick’s words.

Dick finally looked back up from the floor. “Of course not, Jay. That was one of the hottest moments of my life.”

“Dickie you don’t have to lie to make me feel better.”

“Jay, I’m not lying. I’d do it again in a heartbeat if you’d let me.”

A moan slipped from Jason’s mouth before he could stop it. “Dickie, don’t say things like that,” Jason begged.

He closed his eyes so he wouldn’t have to look at Dick, but then his mind was flooded with images of his brother and what they had done on the mat in the gym.

“Why not, Jay? It’s true. I can’t remember another time I was so turned on…just thinking about it now makes me…” Dick didn’t finish his sentence.

“Dickie, stop.” Jason’s body started to respond to Dick’s words even though he’d come not that long ago.

“Jay, I’m sorry, but you got so hard and then when you…came…I just thought you liked it too.”

“I did,” Jason let the words slip form his lips without even thinking.

“You did?” Dick reached out and cupped his cheek again.

Jason just nodded unable to find his voice now that Dick’s hand was on him again.

“Can we do it again?” Dick leaned in and brought his face closer to Jason’s.

Jason still couldn’t say anything.

“Let me in, Jay. Please.”

Next Dick’s lips were on his. It started as just a few tender brushes, but soon Dick began to press his mouth more firmly against Jason’s, holding his cheek tighter to keep Jay from moving away, but Jay couldn’t have moved away even if Dick wasn’t holding onto him. Jason was too far gone to move. Dick began to flick his tongue against Jason’s bottom lip. Jason knew what his brother wanted and he immediately gave him the access he desired. They moaned and whimpered as they explored each other’s mouth more deeply. Jay wasn’t sure how it was possible, but this kiss was even better than the other one. God, he loved how Dick tasted, it was so perfect and uniquely him.

“Jay, let me in,” Dick begged again as he pulled back from Jason’s well-kissed lips.

Jason nodded then stood up and backed away so Dick could come in. Dick was through the door a second later. He kicked it shut before crushing his lips back to Jason. Jason staggered a little but Dick didn’t let him fall, at least not until he had backed Jason up to the bed. Jason landed with a bounce and Dick quickly crawled between his legs, grinding their hard cocks against each other through their pants as the continued to kiss.

“Jay, this could never be wrong. I love you so much. It’s not wrong if we love each other. You love me too, right?” Dick stared down at him with serious blue eyes.

“God, yes. I love you, Dickie.” Jason was sure he meant it in a different context than Dick, but it still felt so good to finally tell Dick how he felt.

Jason wrapped his arms around Dick’s neck and actually kissed him first this time. Dick moaned into his mouth and Jason could almost taste the sound that’s how incredible it was.

“Jay, can we…” Dick trailed off with a pant as he pulled away again.

Jason nodded eagerly. He was so hard and wanted Dick to touch him like that again. Dick smiled as he got back off of the bed and Jason then began to peel off his clothes. Jason watched in awe as more of Dick’s perfect body was put on display for him. Jason gasped and his cock twitched harshly when Dick didn’t stop with just his pants and his gym shorts, but actually shoved his boxers down his legs as well. Seeing Dick’s cock again had Jason trembling with need. He needed to touch Dick. He needed to be touch by Dick. He just needed Dick.

“Your turn,” Dick declared before reaching down and gently tugging Jason’s t-shirt up his body and over his head.

“Jay, can I kiss you?”

Jason didn’t understand why Dick needed to ask, but he nodded anyway. Then he felt Dick’s lips press to his chest. Dick littered his chest with noisy, wet kisses for a while before letting his tongue slip out and swirl around one of Jason’s nipples. Jason fisted his hands into Dick’s hair and arched up in response. Dick smiled against his skin and slowly made his way over to Jason’s other nipple, it felt just as fucking good. Jason was biting his lip so hard it hurt.

“Jay, I really want to touch you again,” Dick said as he moved his kisses down Jason’s chest to his stomach and around his bellybutton.

Jason knew what Dick meant that time and bucked his hips to let Dick know it was okay. Dick moved one of his hands over and began to palm Jay through his pants.

“Can I take these off too?” Dick squeezed Jay’s cock through his pants.

“Yes,” Jason hissed, needy.

That was all Dick needed to hear, a moment later he had Jay’s pants on the floor with his own clothes. Dick reached for Jay’s underwear, but stopped and just looked at him.

“It’s okay.” Jason nodded.

Dick slowly slipped Jason’s boxers down his legs, kissing his thighs and knees as he did.

“You’re so beautiful, Jay,” Dick said as he looked down at Jay’s fully exposed body.

Jason looked away, but Dick reached out and turned him back to face him. Dick crawled back on top of Jason and began kissing and grinding against him again. Sweat and precum added to the stickiness that already covered their bodies from their previous orgasms. Jason unconsciously wrapped his legs around Dick’s waist and rocked his hips to compliment the rhythm of Dick’s grinding. When he began to imagine Dick was inside of him he began to come with no more neede. Jason sprayed both their bare stomach with another load of his cum, Dick moaned and kissed Jay harder until his orgasm finally subsided. Jay looked up and found Dick looking at it him in a strange way. Had he done something wrong? Was doing this again a mistake? But Dick had–

Before Jason could finish his thought Dick spoke, “Would you let me taste it, Jay?”

“What?” Jason asked confused.

Dick glanced down between their slick bodies at Jason’s deflating cock. Jason bit his lips so hard he split the skin.

“If it’s too weird then it’s okay. I don’t have to. I’ve never done it before, but I’m just still so hard and I think that would help me…you know.” Dick looked away.

Had Dick really just asked to taste Jay’s cock? How could things have gone from so perfectly fucked up to so perfectly perfect in hours? Jason quickly reached up and turned Dick’s face back to his.

“Yeah, Dickie…you…you can…you know,” Jay didn’t really know how to say it.

“Are you sure?” Dick asked as he tenderly brushed some hair off Jay’s forehead.

“Yeah,” Jason nodded then leaned up and kissed Dick again.

The kiss wasn’t long enough for Jay, but he wasn’t too disappointed about it when Dick began to slide down his body. This time instead of littering his chest and stomach with kisses he used his tongue to lick up all the cum off Jason’s body.

“Fuck,” Jason hissed, that was so sexy and better than most of his fantasies.

“Your cum taste really good, Jay Bird,” Dick said once Jay’s torso was all cleaned up.

Jason didn’t know what to say to that, but didn’t really have time to think of anything else because a moment later Dick ran his tongue up the underside of Jay’s cock. Dick positioned himself on his side and tentatively let his tongue travel up the length of Jay’s cock to the head, but it still felt amazing. Dick cautiously explored Jay’s cock with his tongue for a while before slowly slipping his mouth around the head. Jay was instantly rock hard again. Jay watched as Dick sucked just the tip of his cock while he stroked his own. Jason began to buck his and push his cock further into Dick’s mouth.

“Sorry, Dickie,” he said breathlessly.

Dick just shook his head before pushing his mouth further down on Jay’s cock, flicking his tongue over the small opening at the top when ever he came up to the head.

“Fuck,” Jason swore again.

Dick began to moan around Jay’s cock and fist his own more roughly and desperately. Jason knew Dick was close. He wanted to touch him before he came though, so he leaned up and awkwardly reached down to and began to massage Dick’s balls. It was a strain but the sound of Dick’s increased moaning made it worth it. Jason just wished he could actually taste Dick too. However a moment later a gargled cry around Jason’s cock pulled him away from that thought. He looked at where Dick was gripping his cock for dear life and watched as cum began to spurt from the head in waves. For the second time that day, seeing Dick come triggered Jason’s own orgasm. He tried to warn his brother, but it was already too late.

Instead of pulling off like Jason expected it Dick sucked him even harder, milking him and sucking down his second load. Jason cried out as he watched Dick swallow every drop of his cum. When his body was too sensitive to take anymore he begged for Dick to stop.

“Are you okay?” Dick asked as he crawled back up to Jay.

Jay couldn’t find his voice, just nodded. Dick sighed and rolled over onto his back, pulling Jay into his side protectively like he use to do when they were younger. Jason began to dose off to the sound of his brother’s heartbeat in his ear.

“Jay?”

“Hmm?”

“Don’t shut me out again. You’re everything to me.” Dick leaned down and kissed Jay so softly it almost made him cry.

“Promise me, Jay,” Dick said when he pulled away.

Once again Jay was too overwhelmed to say anything, so he nodded.

“Thank you. Now, let’s take a nap before we have to think about what we’re going to tell dad about your parking lot fight, tomorrow when he gets home.”

Jason instantly felt like someone had poured a bucket of cold water on him. How could he have forgotten about Bruce? Even though Dick hadn’t been disgusted…yet, he was sure their father would be. What dad wouldn’t be disgusted if he found out that his sons had been fooling around, even if they weren’t actually related. Jay knew the little sliver of happiness he’d felt wouldn’t last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you guys think about this chapter. Your feedback is what makes this worth writing


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason wakes up can't deal with the reality of what he's done. Dick tries to console him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is shorter than most of the other chapters, but I really feel like I got what I wanted out for this chapter and didn't want to overdo the scene. Hope you guys enjoy

Still half asleep Jason snuggled into the warmth of his bed. It vaguely registered to him that the sheets smelled like Dick, but that didn’t make any sense. At least not until he became aware of the arm that was wrapped around his waist and the firm –naked body that was pressed up against his own VERY naked body. Immediately everything that had happen began to flood back to him, dinner last night with Dick, coming back home and watching a movie in his brother’s room. His mind pulled up the memory of Dick leaning over him during the “baby bird” game, then Dick’s lips lingering on his when the candy worm had disappeared between Jay’s lips. Then Jason remembered waking up in the middle of the night and jerking off in Dick’s bed with his brother right beside him. God, he’d even gone as far as putting Dick’s hand around his cock while he’d done it.

That’s when Jason remembered how disgusted he’d been with himself. He’d cried the rest of the night then rushed out as soon as the sun was up. He’d taken one of Bruce’s bikes for a not so joyous ride and had ended up getting into a fight with some guys from his school. Afterwards he’d come home and beat the shit out of the punching bag in the gym. Dick had come into check on him and somehow that led to Jason pinned on a mat under his brother and confessing that having Dick on top of him like that turned him on. But didn’t hadn’t been repulsed like Jay had expected, in fact Dick had said that he’d had similar feelings before in the past then they’d ended up doing things that no brothers should ever do with each other…twice. God after Jason had run away Dick had come after him and they’d ended up doing those things again…and more.

Jay remembered Dick’s tongue and mouth on his cock and shivered from the memory overload.

“You cold, Jay?” Dick’s arm tightened around his waist and his brother nuzzled into the back of his neck.

Dick’s hot, moist breath on Jay’s neck only made him shiver again and that time it was for a different reason. Jay’s cock instinctively twitched from that slight brush of Dick’s breath on his skin. That’s when Jay realized just how bad things were. He quickly wrenched himself from his brother’s arms, toppling onto the floor with a loud thud because of it.

“Oh my God. Jay, are you all right?” Dick said as he scrambled over to the edge of the bed.

Jason just looked up at his brother in horror.

“No, Dickie…I’m not all right. What have I– Why did you– Oh God, I really fucked up this time.” Jason stammered to himself more so than Dick.

A moment later his brother was down on the floor kneeling in front of him.

“Jay, what are you talking about? How did you mess up?” Dick wasn’t big on swearing.

“Dickie, isn’t it obvious? Look what I made you do.” Jason gestured between both their naked bodies.

“What? Jay, you didn’t make me do anything. What happened earlier…I wanted that…I thought you did too. Oh God, Jay, did I go to far? I’m sor-”

“No!” Jason shouted, cutting his brother off. “This is on me, Dick, so don’t you dare say you’re sorry.”

“But, I am sorry, Jay. Like I said before you seemed so into it that I thought you wanted it too. I never meant to–”

Jason cut Dick’s sentence short again, “Dick, that’s the problem. I wanted it. I wanted it so bad. I wanted you…I want you…I have for so,” Jason didn’t finish when he notice how Dick was staring at him.

Confused would’ve been an understatement. Wow, Jason’s ability to make a bad situation worse was impeccable.

“Dick, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that stuff. It doesn’t mean anything.” Jason quickly dismissed his feelings even though it hurt him to the core to do so. “God, Bruce is going to kill me.” Jason sighed and brought his knees up to his chest.

“What are you talking about, Jay? For the fight thing?” Dick said once he stopped gaping at Jason. “If anything he’s going to kill me for letting you get hurt. Your poor eye.”

Dick reached out and cupped the far side of Jason’s face and lightly rubbed the pad of his thumb under his eye. Jay winced; it was still sore.

“God, no, Dickie. He’s going to kill me for being a sick freak,” Jason spat misplaced anger at his brother as he pulled away from him.

“What? No. Jay, why would you say that? Dad would never hurt you and you’re not a…sick freak.”

Dick’s eyes were so sad as he stared at Jason; the younger boy had to cast his own to the floor.

“Jay, tell me you don’t believe that dad would ever hurt you,” Dick pleaded.

Jason knew Dick was right; Bruce would never lay a hand on him.

“Fine, throw me out then.” Jason still didn’t look at Dick.

“No, Jay. Dad would never do that to us either,” Dick defended

“Not us, Dickie…just me. He had you first and you guys are so much closer and–”

Dick jumped over and slammed Jason onto the floor hard. The position was awkward. Dick was naked, straddling Jason’s hips, with his ass pressed firmly down on Jason’s cock. If it hadn’t been for the obvious pain coursing through his brother’s eyes as he looked down at him Jason was pretty sure he would’ve been hard as a rock.

“Don’t say that. Don’t say any of that, Jay,” Dick practically growled down at him before his lips slammed down onto Jay’s.

The kiss was rough and angry and something Jay would’ve never expected from his brother. Dick held Jason’s face tight between his palms as he forced his tongue between Jay’s lips and desperately sought out his tongue. Jason couldn’t fight off his moans; Dick echoed the sound back into his parted lips and it was the most beautiful thing Jason had ever heard. But all too soon Dick pulled away.

“Jay, I love you and so does dad. He would never throw you out…I’d never let that happen. We’re a family.”

Jason sighed heavily. “Dick, that’s the problem. We’re family and the thoughts I have about you aren’t the kind I should be having about someone in my family,” Jay put extra emphases on the last word.

Now it was Dick’s turn to let out the heavy sigh. “Jay…I know what we did probably isn’t what normal brothers do, but it felt so right, so perfect. You said you wanted me –that you want me. Well, Jay, I want you too.” Dick reached down and cupped Jason’s cheek again.

“We can’t, Dickie…it’s wrong…Bruce…”

“He loves us and just wants us to be happy. He’ll understand,” Dick protested.

Jason highly doubted that. “He won’t,” Jason challenged.

Dick went to say something but stopped. He sat there –still naked, on Jay’s lap. Jason really wanted to get up and put on his clothes, but he didn’t know how to say that without things getting more awkward. Plus that nasty part of him that was still in love with Dick loved having the naked weight of his older brother pressing down on him. He tried not to gawk at the beautiful lines that were Dick’s sculpted abs or the V shape that accentuated his brother’s hairless lower half. Jason had overheard Dick and his friends on the swim team talking about how they all kept it bare down there, but seeing it was a lot different than hearing about it. God, why was his brother so fucking gorgeous?

“Jay…what if we don’t tell him?”

Dick’s question pulled Jason out of his perverted mind. “What?”

“What if we don’t tell dad? I want you, Jay…I don’t care what anyone else thinks, not even dad. This feels right to me and I don’t want it to end but it obviously bothers you, so what if I promise not to say anything? Will you be with me then?”

Jason couldn’t believe his ears. Was Dick really saying that he wanted to be with him? He couldn’t be serious.

“But, Dickie–”

“No buts, Jay. You promised not to shut me out again, so if you feel the way you said you do, then be with me. Please?”

Dick wasn’t just saying he wanted to be with Jason, he was begging Jason to be with him. There was no way this could really be happening.

“Dick.”

“Jay.”

Neither of them said anything for long time after that. They just stared at each other. The only person Jason had ever wanted to be with had just said he felt the same…wanted the same. And even though Dick didn’t believe it was possible he’d still agreed to keep things a secret so Bruce wouldn’t find out and send Jay away. How could this be happening? Dick should be revolted and trying to get as far away from Jason as possible, not offering to make all his dreams come true.

Eventually, when Jason stilled couldn’t muster up any words Dick sighed again and went to get off of him, but like in the gym Jason gripped on to his brother’s hip to keep him in place.

“Don’t…Dickie…I still…I still want…God, I love–” Jason’s voice cracked slightly and his eyes started to water.

He was sixteen and he was about to start crying like a fucking baby. Pathetic.

Dick leaned down again and brushed his lips over both Jay’s now wet cheeks.

“Don’t cry, Jaybird. It’s going to be okay. I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm really proud of this chapter and I really hope you enjoyed reading it.
> 
> When I read the last line I thought to myself I could probably just end things here, but for some reason I can't stop yet. I want things to go further with these two, so I hope you guys wanted to keep reading

**Author's Note:**

> So I want to take this further just not exactly sure how far just yet, so any feedback would be great.


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